Grind, grind, grind
This site got launched while I was down south staying with family. I don't get on perfectly with my dad, and he's workaholic who works from home even on his days off, so I had plenty of time to make the finishing touches on the site and make sure everything was in working order. I worked really hard leading up to the launch and I'm very proud of myself.
My parents know what I do, but they're not exactly happy about it. My mum is a little more chill than my dad, but she would still rather I not be doing it and she even went as far as to say she didn't really approve of it. I'm not sure what she meant by that - sometimes it's as if it weirds her out but she supports my choices, and others it's as if she quietly thinks it's wrong and shouldn't be happening. I'm close with my mum so it's been hard for me to wrap my head around.
To me, sex work isn't even remotely shameful or wrong. Especially since I'm just making porn by myself or with my long-term boyfriend. I could somewhat understand people's reservations if I was escorting or doing mainstream porn, where I was having intimate interactions with strangers and could be placing myself in danger. I get that - I have so much respect and love for full service folks but I understand where my parents might panic over the prospect. But recording low budget porn in my bedroom to enable me to support myself? Where the hell is the issue with that?
I suppose it is a generational thing. My dad's eternally wrapped in keeping up appearances and my mum comes from a place of relative innocence and shelter. I'm proud of the work I do, I think it's a great job to have, and I wish I felt more enthusiasm and support from them.
I was away for 10 days, and returned home last Tuesday. It took me longer than expected to get back into the swing of things, but on Friday I managed to film four new clips. One has gone up today ("Ruined Orgasm JOI") and I'm in the process of editing a second ("Sensual Fingering Orgasm"), while tomorrow I'm filming a special Halloween clip that requires different make-up etc and needed to be filmed separately. At the very least, I won't have to film again after that until probably Friday.
I've been feeling somewhat frustrated in life trajectory and finances, and I've finally had enough with myself being too socially anxious to bite the bullet with NiteFlirt. I'm all set up and ready to go, I just need to turn my lines on and take some calls. I think I'm finally stressed enough about money to force myself to begin with NF. Sometimes you just need a good push out of the plane to realise you're a dab hand at sky diving.